The Chronicles Of Chicken Lips

giraffepoliceforce:

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:

  1. Acquire several dozen limes.
  2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
  3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
  4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
  5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
  6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
  7. Marry them.

330,096 notes

giraffepoliceforce:

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:

  1. Acquire several dozen limes.
  2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
  3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
  4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
  5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
  6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
  7. Marry them.

330,096 notes

elliegalaxies:

kiss-my-sassyness:

I was literally the most embarrassing 13 year old in the whole world 

DID YOU REALLY JUST TRY TO STEAL MY POST ?? ??? MY FUCKING NAME IS IN THE PICTURE 

elliegalaxies:

kiss-my-sassyness:

I was literally the most embarrassing 13 year old in the whole world 

DID YOU REALLY JUST TRY TO STEAL MY POST ?? ??? MY FUCKING NAME IS IN THE PICTURE 

266,550 notes

swiggityswalling:

teendefinitionblog:

teenager: someone who is well-prepared for a zombie apocalypse but not ready for tomorrow’s maths test


SHUT UP NO ONE IS READY FOR A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.  YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IS THERE WAS ONE???? YOU’D CURL UP IN A BALL IN YOUR BED AN GO ON TUMBLR SHIT GOT ME HEATED

swiggityswalling:

teendefinitionblog:

teenager: someone who is well-prepared for a zombie apocalypse but not ready for tomorrow’s maths test

SHUT UP NO ONE IS READY FOR A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.  YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IS THERE WAS ONE???? YOU’D CURL UP IN A BALL IN YOUR BED AN GO ON TUMBLR SHIT GOT ME HEATED

2,990 notes

actualcannibalfeferipeixes:

mATH HOMEWORK???

THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS

(Source: tittifers)

225,715 notes

illiteratedad:

being romantically frustrated is 1000000 worse than being sexually frustrated because you can get yourself off but you can’t spoon with yourself and kiss your own forehead

85,995 notes

faabulous:

foreign languages are all fun and games UNTIL IT COMES TO IRREGULARS AND CONJUGATION

(Source: fabrizee)

184,563 notes

haitian-sensati0n:

This made my night
lmaoooooo

haitian-sensati0n:

This made my night

lmaoooooo

(Source: unabating)

44,515 notes

phatticuss:

cumcream:

cumcream:

What did the cat say to the dog?

cats don’t talk

image

94,744 notes

thetindog:

theladthatlived:

georgesus:

"He’s a little fighter. He kind of, he wriggles around quite a lot.” - Prince William

its like when you take dogs out of water and they carry on swimming

MOTHER, UNHAND ME, I HAVE A COUNTRY TO GOVERN

297,334 notes

roachpatrol:

4gifs:

[video]

this gif keeps getting better

roachpatrol:

4gifs:

[video]

this gif keeps getting better

(Source: ForGIFs.com)

105,861 notes